Being freelance - what I've learned 5 years in
What happens when you find out you're pregnant the day after quitting
I worked for other people over a decade, before striking out on my own five years ago. The day after a boozy leaving do with my brilliant ex-colleagues, I found out I was pregnant. The reality of what a risk I’d taken hit me for the first time. I was truly alone. Except I wasn’t. I was eating for two, procrastinating for two, mindlessly refreshing Linkedin for two. After the high of handing in my notice, it was a jolt back down to Earth that brought everything into sharp focus.
I allowed myself a few weeks for rest and nauseous Netflix-ing, before attempting to masquerade as a proper freelancer. And I wasn’t short of advice. When you announce you’re going freelance, people are full of ideas of things you should be doing. It’s a bit like when you tell people you’re having a baby.
So I got listed on all the sites. I dutifully sent awkward emails to colleagues I’d once worked with. Drove miles to random networking events, including one where I was forced to buy a full English breakfast and was told I was “better looking than the last marketing one” (a story for another time). And I’m not knocking the good advice - some of it’s absolutely essential. Yes, you should be putting money away for tax. But there are things most people fail to mention and, for me, they will save you some time and heartache down the line.
You must create your own purpose
There are people who crave a shared work vision. By the end of my salaried days, I wasn’t one of them. I just wanted to write and found I was spending more time in meetings than actually writing. Writing was my purpose. Five years on, I now find myself looking for deeper meaning in the projects I take on. If I can’t connect with it, I don’t accept the work.
I’ve also come to appreciate the value of The Personal Project. It could be work-related, or not. I know a talented writer who writes ad copy in the day, and edits poems by night. Others seek out volunteering opportunities. If meaning is important in your life and work, and going freelance is going to leave a purpose-shaped hole, then you must find a way to fill it. Of course, I’m well aware that taking on unpaid projects is a complete luxury that many of us can ill-afford, so you’ll need to work out exactly where you can find time and space for purposeful projects.
Whatever you want - hold your nerve
Whatever you’re aiming to achieve by going freelance, I’ve learned from experience that you must hold your nerve. Perhaps you dream of working with a specific client, or in a certain industry, or for a certain day rate. There may be resistance - or actually there may not. There may be days when you question your ability. You may need to come at things from a different angle. Do not give up on your original vision. Never settle, petal.
Get help where you can
It can be tempting to do everything yourself, especially when you’re at the start of your freelance career. Outsourcing might seem like giving up control, or a waste of money. But the best business move I ever made was hiring an accountant. Maths is not my strong suit and I realised that anxiety spent on money matters was distracting me from writing. Now, I get peace of mind that my finances are in order. Identify your weaknesses, and surround yourself with great people who lighten the load in areas you find difficult.
Build the culture and community you need
When you announce you’re going freelance, people will assume you’re going to be lonely. They will suggest ways you can socialise - at events, by joining online communities, or subscribing to a co-working space. I thought I’d be the co-working space / coffee shop kind of freelance gal. It turns out that what works for me is a mostly solitary working week, with pops of weekly online interaction and very sporadic in-person opportunities to refresh my thinking. Five years down the line, I make no apologies for it.
My advice is to forget what everyone else is doing. Instead, go deep inside yourself and work out what you personally need to thrive. It’s your opportunity to build a community and workplace culture. Try a few ways of working and settle on what works for you. Keep in mind that it may well change throughout your freelance career.
After a somewhat bumpy start, I now know that striking out on my own was the best thing I could do for my career and wellbeing. It works for me. However going solo gave me a minor existential crisis in the early days. As a long-term people pleaser, being a good employee became part of my identity. It validated me. In the time it took me to stagger home after my leaving do, I’d transformed from ‘trusted employee with objectives’ to… well, nobody. Creating a freelancer career turned out to be so much more than just getting work. It was about defining a new identity for myself, which involved some serious introspection. I now realise that getting pregnant the day after I quit was a blessing in disguise. I’d never had made the leap otherwise - and now I’m so glad I did.
Really great, spot-on advice Jan! I've also been freelancing for about 5 years now and your take really resonates with my experiences too. Looking forward to following your Substack in the future and seeing what you come up with!