What I'm investing in this pregnancy
Third time around, I'm making better choices. Determined not to buy any more stuff, here's what I'm prioritising instead.
I’m pregnant for the fourth time in five years, which probably sounds as wild as it feels. I’ve spent half a decade riding a rollercoaster of hormones, acclimatising to life on very little sleep, and figuring out how I parent and work as a Mum of two – soon to be three – under five. (For those doing the maths, one ended up as a miscarriage. I wrote about my experience here.)
When I first found out I was pregnant, I spent hours searching for ALL THE STUFF I might need. Products that would solve a problem I hadn’t experienced yet, for a baby that hadn’t even been born. I inhaled reviews of prams, slings, breast pumps, swaddles… believing that buying new stuff would make me more prepared for what was about to go down. None of it did. My baby son turned out to have his own preferences and needs (who knew?) and I soon realised that pretty much anything could be bought and delivered within 24 hours.
With that in mind, this time around I’m being very selective about where I invest my time and money. Here’s what I’ve settled on:
My fitness
After carrying and delivering two babies, I know that the best thing I can do to prepare for the coming months is to try to maintain some sort of fitness level. My particular focus is on strength and stability, not “bouncing back” or fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes (not that there’s anything wrong with that, if that’s your goal).
I’m determined to stay fit this time because during my first pregnancy I basically stopped exercising. Terrified of harming myself or my baby, I went from a gym regular to couch potato. Then I was diagnosed with placenta previa and pretty much put on actual bed rest, so working out was firmly off the agenda. In the end, I had a relatively simple birth but found recovery difficult. I wanted to start training again but just couldn’t manage it for a while.
This time, I’ve been working with a personal trainer who specialises in antenatal fitness. It’s once per week, I never get totally out of breath, and I’m under strict instructions to stop if I feel like I’m pushing myself too far.
I know hiring a trainer might sound, as the kids say, ‘extra’. I just knew that I needed support in knowing where I should focus. I’ve sacrificed other things to make this work financially. I also recognise that many pregnant people are unable to workout for a number of reasons, and many just don’t feel like it. For now, it’s working for me.
Clients that pay
I subscribe to the idea of 'priority seasons' in my work - essentially choosing one guiding principle for a specific timeframe. It allows me to focus on one thing at a time and create a sense of structure, where I’d otherwise have none. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I knew that my priority for this season had to be money-making. I’d like to take some maternity leave, as I did before, and when you’re self-employed in the UK this often means saving up.
Over the last six months I’ve prioritised working for clients that pay the highest rates. It sounds obvious, but money isn’t always my top focus. Sometimes I choose passion projects, other times I make decisions based on the clients I most enjoy working for. After a short maternity leave, I expect to look for work that I find easy - that doesn’t require too much brain power. We change all the time, and it’s nice to feel somewhat in control by seeking out work that complements your own specific season.
My maternity style
Ok, “style” might be a stretch. The maternity clothes industry seems collectively under the impression that Mums-to-be live in either a Breton top or some sort of oversized patterned number. And don’t get me started on the slogan tees or under the bump jeans. How do they not fall down?!
There are also people who can continue to wear their normal clothes for most of their pregnancy. I would love to be one of those people, but sadly I’m not. Previously, I wasted a fortune on clothes I felt terrible in, at a time when I was already feeling pretty insecure. I believe there’s a balance to strike between investing in expensive maternity pieces you’ll likely never use again, and spending enough so you have a small, quality capsule wardrobe that makes you feel good.
Five years in, I’ve finally hit on where to spend and where to save. I typically go for maternity leggings (these are good), a fitted maternity tank top like this, and a loose-fitting jumper or oversized shirt on top. The tank can be updated with a nursing vest top later, if you choose to breastfeed. (I found that there’s no need to invest in loads of overpriced nursing tops. This way, you can just lift up your jumper to feed.)
Birth readiness
My previous antenatal courses both under- and over-prepared me for labour. They got me well-versed in all kinds of pain management and types of birth, but I had no way of knowing how weird and wonderful my specific experience would be. No-one does, in my view. That’s not to say you shouldn’t inform yourself about the different scenarios, but you don’t necessarily need to part with lots of money. You could hire a book from the library, read or watch birth stories online, or get some reading recommendations from your midwife. Just take care to check your sources as there’s a lot of misinformation on the internet about birth.
For many, attending an in-person antenatal group is as much about building a supportive community, as it is about the learning. But don’t forget that there are usually local WhatsApp chats, Facebook groups, and free parent and baby meet-ups a plenty. This pregnancy I’ve been targeted online by all sorts of companies offering antenatal events - from super spenny luxury retreats to pay-as-you-go coffee mornings. It’s a whole industry. If something catches your eye and you can afford it, you should go for it. I’m just saying, don’t think the standard antenatal class is your only option.
I will say this, though. A friend recommended the Positive Birth Company’s online hypnotherapy course and it’s the best £39 I have ever spent. It taught me the physical process of birth and the nuances of each stage, meaning I didn’t totally freak out in labour. It also gave me and my partner tons of tools to cope with the pain and advocate for myself. I followed the course again for my second birth, and might do a little refresher for this time.
Of course, this whole post comes with the caveat that I do have a lot of newborn paraphernalia already, though I’ve given away about 90% of it. I found that babies need little more than some basic clothes that are easy to get on and off (crucial!), a couple of blankets, and more muslins than you could possibly envisage. A friend let me borrow her baby bjorn bouncer and I still have my Tommy Tippee milk prep machine. I invested in this boujee pregnancy pillow a couple of years ago and it has never left my bed, except when I lent it to a family member recovering from surgery. I’d happily re-purchase all of these items.
So that’s it. My round-up of what I’m investing in this pregnancy, based on my own experiences. Your list will likely be totally different, and I’d love to hear from any pregnant people with different priorities. Or if you’re already a parent, how would you spend your time and money differently next time? I’d love to hear, please leave me a comment below.
Ah congratulations! <3