Any Mother Business came into the world on 5 March — today she’s four weeks old. Still very much a newborn, and just like in the early days of motherhood, I still don’t know what I’m doing. Casting my mind back, I sat down to write my first post because few paid gigs were coming in. I figured that this was as good a time as any. I had finally run out of excuses.
The last month of writing has yanked me out of my post-Christmas funk and propelled me into springtime. Work is trickling back in. I’m finding it harder to find the time to write for myself - and if you’ll let me - for you. But I’m definitely not going to give up. Here’s why, and what I’ve learned from these four weeks…
The first post is the hardest.
People say that the biggest hurdle to working out is showing up. I think the same is true of writing (or maybe of anything, really). Before I even pressed publish on my first piece, I had so many internal battles to overcome. Mostly – what have I got to share that’s unique?
In the end, the hardest part was committing to write that first post. The second hardest part was publishing it. Who did I think I was to send my silly musings into the world? I did my best to banish these thoughts. Instead, I poured my energy into those first thousand words. I scheduled the article to publish and buried my face in a cushion.
You’ve got to ‘go there’
Someone gave me the excellent advice to start with the pieces that felt most raw. I never thought I’d share publicly about the struggles of being a working parent, or experiencing miscarriage. This whole territory can be so awkward and personal. And yet, I knew that these experiences were changing me from the inside out. I thought there was a small chance that others might feel the same.
Four weeks in, my most difficult experiences and thoughts have been clarified by the process of writing them down. Wonderful people have commented and reflected. It’s been unexpectedly cathartic.
I will say this though – I’d never recommend writing publicly about something that feels too painful to share. Only ‘go there’ if the thing holding you back is self-doubt.
You must make yourself accountable.
If you’re a weak-willed fellow like me, it’s very easy to give up. Self-doubt creeps in, life gets busy, and the writing slides way down the to-do list. I’ve been here before.
This time, I did a couple of things to make sure I followed through. I told a good friend about my project and she generously encouraged me past my insecurities and inaction. Then, I booked a meeting for future ‘me’ to chat through the progress of my Substack with an expert I admired. Every time I was tempted to delay, I pictured myself on this pre-booked zoom call with absolutely nothing to report. It worked for me.
Then again, I know that I need others to make me accountable. We all work differently. If there’s something you’re keen to stick to, find a way to make it impossible for you to ignore. Maybe it’s blocking time in your diary, pinning an image to your noticeboard, or setting specific goals. Whatever it takes!
Substack is a whole connected universe.
I’ll confess, I started making conversations on Substack because I wanted to promote my own work. However, I quickly realised that there are brilliant minds on here and some stunning writing. Harping on about my own little project became irrelevant.
I’ve been truly bolstered by this generous community, and this positivity has seeped into the rest of my life.
Without getting all gushy Gwyneth on you, I just wanted to send you a heartfelt thank you from this infant newsletter. I’m sticking around, and I can’t wait to find out what I’ll have learned after giving it more time.
If you’re also embarking on a new thing in your life (however big or small) then I say go for it. I’d really love to hear about it in the comments.
I’m loving your writing. Thanks for putting yourself out there.
It’s great to read about your journey. I just wrote about mine too and I’m glad I started writing here. Good luck!